


Magical Flowers (Coming To Suffocate You)

by loni_meow



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur loves Merlin's magic smh, Bickering, Boi is fascinated u can't tell me anything else, Chapter 7 is me projecting my singleness by having these cuties be cute, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hanahaki Disease, Hanahaki is a sorcerer only disease, Hugs, I'm Bad At Titles, Kissing, M/M, Maybe I'll write Smut at one point???, Merlin is a Little Shit, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), OK enough venting in the tags, Protective Arthur, Relatable tho not judging him, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:28:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27747505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loni_meow/pseuds/loni_meow
Summary: Out of nowhere, Merlin realized he was showing all too familiar symptoms of this disease he'd heard all those story's about. One of the few diseases only people born with magic could get - Hanahaki.On top of that, of all people, he actually fell for a dense royal idiot.
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 56
Kudos: 362





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaaaa!!! I've just started watching the show around like???? A week ago???? And I'm somewhere in season 1. So if there's anything that gets plot twisted away in here I'm sorry hshshshs
> 
> So yeah this is my first work in this fandom, I just love my boys and the Hanahaki trope,,,,, I hope you'll enjoy this fic!

Merlin had been feeling weird since the moment he'd waken up. Like normally he had expected it to go away by the point of the day where he got more active, helping Gaius out while mentally preparing for Arthur and his shenanigans.

But this didn't seem to be normal at all. In fact, he'd never felt like this before in any kind of way. No spell he knew caused this, no sickness he's ever had felt like that either - he was only left hoping that the weird pestering feeling in his lung would evaporate in the course of the day.

It wasn't even normal pressure, nor was it pain, Merlin realized. It was more like a very annoying feeling of something... settling inside of his lungs, and it was disgusting.  
He thought about telling Gaius about this, worrying that it was some kind of parasite, but then again, remembered that it might as well be a normal cough coming up.

He cleared his throat before leaving the herbs he collected for Gaius right on the table he'd work at.  
Merlin would have loved to stay and say a proper see you later to the old man, yet he knew that if he wasn't going to be in Arthur's chambers fairly soon, he'd hear his name echo all through Chamelot and back.

And while he did indeed love to annoy and mock Arthur while he was on it, he wasn't that set on putting up with everyone staring at him because of Arthur's screams on this day.  
Well, he could still mock the hell out of the prince in the peace and quiet (ha, very funny) of his chambers.

"Good morning, sire," Merlin chimed as he more or less graciously entered the chambers, letting the door fall shut behind him.  
"Good morning my ass. Where have you been?" Arthur answered then, the usual tone underlying his words, Merlin just having to smirk, even though the feeling in his chest intensified.

It got worse and worse, especially with Arthur turning around and staring right straight into his face, raising an eyebrow.  
"I asked you a question."  
"Yes, well... I was out, collecting herbs for Gaius."  
Arthur's glare grew more intense and the pressure on Merlin's chest grew, him trying to get it off by clearing his throat again.

"And where have you really been?"  
"Collecting herbs for Gaius," Merlin clapped back once again, not being able to stop himself from letting a bit of hoarseness come into his voice.  
"Aha!" Arthur then called, standing up from the chair he was sitting on, coming closer to Merlin, a finger pointed right at him.  
"There it was, the little crack in your facade. I must admit, you've gotten better at lying."

Merlin shook his head and pointed at his throat before caughing a little into the back of his hand.  
Arthur was rather close now, just casually standing in front of him, and yet Merlin felt everything get worse with every little, agonizing glare he took at the _handsome_ blonde man.

Merlin coughed again and fought for air for a moment, and for an even smaller moment he could've sworn that he saw worry flash in Arthur's eyes, almost the worry they had carried when he drank the poisoned wine.  
"God, Merlin, you didn't have to dramatically choke on air. I'm going to get you some water, you useless idiot."

He nodded, and then Arthur wasn't that close anymore, and instantly, the sorcerer felt a weight leave from his chest, almost as if it left with the prince.  
And as he expected, it not only left with the prince, but came back with him, too.

"Wait, stay where you are," he demanded then, knowing exactly what risk he just took in addressing his future king like that, but Arthur obliged, yet seemed annoyed and absolutely ready to take Merlin apart if he was to tell one more demand.  
He memorized the feeling on his chest, just to be sure, and then croaked another request, "come closer now."

"What's this, a game of stop and go?" Arthur spat then, just like Merlin expected, yet rolled his eyes at the pleading glare he was getting and stepped forward, handing Merlin the water.  
Just as he was in a rather small radius from Merlin, as soon as just a part of Arthur was there, the pressure and also a bit of pain came back up with extreme force.

Merlin had to hold himself back from shattering the glass with a sudden burst of magic that wanted to come out and _defend._  
There was Arthur, though, slowly definitely doubting Merlin's sanity (as if he ever counted him as a truly sane person).  
He drank a sip of the water, and thanks to it being rather cold, it felt like a rush of fresh air and water spreading through his body at once after struggling.

"Thanks," he muttered, hating to be polite to Arthur after all, but he didn't have the energy to mock him anymore. Whatever was inside his lungs, whatever in there was so clearly linked to Arthur, it drained Merlin.

"Can you work now?" the blonde man asked then, inspecting Merlin in a way that the sorcerer would find... appealing if he didn't knew that Arthur, never in a thousand lives, would mean it like that.  
"I... Well, yes."  
He meant it, just wanted to give the glass back to Arthur, when suddenly he gagged, and felt something come up his throat.

Knowing that it'd be still disgusting, though he'd at least not vomit right into the prince's chamber, he leaned over the water and fought out the little thing that kept pestering him this much.

And because he didn't expect it, he of course didn't know what to say when there was a purple flower petal in the water he was holding, something that clearly came out of his mouth, just right in front of Arthur.  
Who was saying nothing.

Wonderful.

"I must have swallowed it while collecting herbs," Merlin fought out, his throat still a little hoarse after what had just happened.  
"Swallowed it while collecting herbs..." Arthur repeated, before he shook his head and rapidly came closer at one moment, making Merlin flinch slightly as he was in his thoughts.

"Come on, you seriously start swallowing flower petals just to ridicule me now? That's a little petty, don't you think?" he asked, smirking at his manservant, raising his eyebrows.  
"I seriously - I'm not doing it to mock you, sire," he croaked, his throat actually still sore - or again, maybe that.

"Come on Merlin, do you need help?" Arthur asked with a cheeky tone below the words, mocking him now, coming closer what was worsening his state once again, while he fished the petal out and put it in his pocket.  
He was coming very close that Merlin felt heat pooling inside of him, shaking him to the core.  
Arthur's face was incredibly close to his face at the point in which Merlin couldn't help but lose himself in those blue eyes, blushing just the slightest bit.

Yet, it was also the moment Arthur raised up his hands, and Merlin finally understood what exactly he was trying to do.  
"Don't you da-"  
"If you don't confess about your mockery on your own-"  
"I'll bite you."  
Arthur chuckled once again, and the dark tone in his glare, the slightly suggestive one, even, if Merlin wasn't completely losing his mind, caught him off guard.  
"Try."

Merlin raised his eyebrows at the blonde man, ready to smack him or anything, especially when he felt Arthur's hands on his face.  
"Now, let me see," he mused, seemingly trying to look into his servants mouth.  
"Arthur!" he shouted then, trying to move away, yet the grip on him was strong.  
"Arthur you little prat- will you stop-"

And then this royal asshole was actually looking inside of his God damned mouth, looking for a hint on how his manservant was pulling of this weird trick - Merlin couldn't help but find himself thinking, that it'd be so much better if it really was just a trick.

But here he was, showing the first symptoms of the Hanahaki disease - one of the diseases that only people with magic could even get, and it also only rarely happened amongst them.  
And Merlin be damned, he really didn't know how he could ever explain this to Arthur if it ever came up, like, at all.

"Satisfied?" he tried to ask, yet it was almost completely muffled by the still existing fingers in his mouth.  
Arthur still rolled his eyes and retreated, Merlin finally relaxing his jaw as he watched the blonde shortly stare at his fingers before he wiped them off.

"You idiot." Arthur murmured, "...swallowed a flower petal while collecting herbs..."  
He still didn't believe Merlin, not at all - and hey, that was at least kind of relieving to know. Like, to know that Arthur at least wasn't _that_ stupid.  
Yet, Merlin internally cursed said small percentage of intelligence behind Arthur's act of superiority.

"You know what? Just get on with work. If you can refrain from vomiting out more petals."  
Merlin rolled his eyes, muttered a "sure, sire" though, so that Arthur wouldn't really get wind of said motion.  
Not that he didn't like Arthur's attention - quite the contrary, if he was honest - but if he came closer to him even if it was to give him one smack across the head, it could make his life even more complicated.

It couldn't be Arthur he loved like this, right? Sure, the man was attractive, and he could be nice too, but... Merlin had never thought about the idea. Of him and Arthur, as a couple.  
Maybe the level of unlikely this whole image was on could be a reason why he never let himself realize it, denied it even. Maybe it was just because there was time for nothing if his full time job was making sure the prat wouldn't die.

When he thought about it, something in his heart seemed to flutter, and he quickly started following his daily tasks, trying to ignore the urge to stare at Arthur. He was honest, he liked messing around with the prince. He liked his voice, his honor, his _honesty_. He may be an arrogant and idiotic arse, but Merlin had a feeling that Arthur knew how to _love_ , maybe was actually romantic, if he'd ever gotten the chance to be.

The pressure on his lungs resurfaced in a way that was all too brutal to ignore it, and he coughed once again.  
What he could ignore though, was the annoyed groan coming from Arthur at that noise, especially since the coughing got worse.

No, he couldn't _love_ Arthur like _that_. It really just had to be something about him that reminded him of his true love, it couldn't actually be him.  
But next to Arthur, there was no one Merlin could actually consider to be fitting for this - he was his closest friend, and they should and would stay on that level.  
After all, it took Merlin long enough to finally get there.

"Look, if you actually got sick our something-"  
"I'm fine," Merlin croaked right then, interrupting his prince as he coughed once again, to his horror, resulting in another flower petal ending up on his hand.  
"Some flower sickness, then," Arthur suddenly mocked, and Merlin realized that he actually must've turned around whole he spat out the damned flower thing.  
"I think I've heard of something like that before..."

Merlin tensed up, his breath hitching as he intensely stared back at Arthur, who didn't answer any of his many questions with his secretive glare and the even more secretive general expression.  
"Oh, I remember! You can't fool me anymore, Merlin."

To say that he felt like his heart stopped beating was an understatement, it rather exploded and evaporated up to space, leaving him alone with a panicking brain and the prince glaring at him, before Arthur suddenly snorted and rolled his eyes, a smug smile finding its way on his dumb beautiful lips.

"Geez, haven't seen you that tense in a while. You're copying a fictional book disease? And then you're wondering that I don't believe you? Seriously, how daft do you think I am?"  
Merlin couldn't help but chuckle himself while he may or may not got a little lost in Arthur's beaming laugh, his smile.

"Actually, I do think you're extremely dense," he said then, fighting the urge to throw something _\- or himself -_ at the blonde man, before he turned towards the door.  
"You know, sire, I'll be back in a moment, I just realized I forgot something for Gaius."  
"As usual. Off you go - just don't swallow any more flowers."

Merlin laughed at his master before shaking his head and quickly leaving the room.

Only when he actually stood outside of Arthur's chambers, he truly realized what kind of fate had just opened itself up on him.

He was _so_ going to die. 


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin barged right through the door, basically resulting in Gaius jumping out of his skin.

"Merlin! What is going on? Did you do something?" he asked immediately, the man in question huffing at the assumption that he, apparently, always had to have done something to barge into rooms like this.

"I think I'm sick," he said nevertheless after throwing an 'I'm not that much of a disaster'-glare towards Gaius.  
"And it's somehow linked to Arthur."  
When Gaius seemed to need a moment to progress what he just said, Merlin added a quiet, sarcastic, "like everything seems to be in my life", searching for the flower petals that he had put in his pocket after all.

"A sickness linked to Arthur?" he older man asked then, eyeing Merlin like he was a full riddle just in himself.  
And hey, maybe he was - the sorcerer didn't understand himself any better, that was clear.

"Here," he said, showing Gaius the petals he had finally found resting in mentioned pocket, and he unhappily eyed them as if they were the devil's spawn reincarnated.  
"So you..."  
"I spat these little things out, yes," Merlin answered, still fed up with having to deal with this, yet he seemed as if he regained confidence over the situation with every moment.

"I know this looks like Hanahaki, but it's definitely not. Someone's just trying to get me away from Arthur and put a spell on me or something," he muttered as he felt Gaius doubtful glare as he reached out for the petals, taking them from Merlin.  
"Our maybe this _is_ Hanahaki and fate is trying to bring you two together," the older man then said, his eyebrows raising in a way that made Merlin snap, and, to his dismay, blush a little.

"I am _not_ in love with Arthur! I have my duties towards him and I consider him my friend, but that's it."  
Gaius sent him a knowing glare, something that made his face burn even harder, shaking his head at him.  
"I will look at these petals. Hanahaki is a magical and yet natural disease, if anyone put a spell on it, I'll tell you," he said nevertheless, taking the petals like he said, putting them safely aside.

"How heavy are your symptoms?"  
"Well, I feel it as a pressure on my lungs," Merlin started, then biting his tongue for a moment.  
"When Arthur comes closer or I come closer to him, it evolves into pain and I start coughing them up."  
"Well, that sounds quite normal. If you were hexed, it'd definitely evolve in a different way," Gaius said, still staring at Merlin with the glare that made him gulp even harder.

"But I will do some tests. Yet, you need to serve Arthur, and even if it's just linked to him without him actually being your desired love, that will be a problem."  
"Is there a spell, potion or anything else that can help?" Merlin asked then, tapping on the closest table surface he could get, clearing his throat once again, just because he had to think of Arthur telling him to just stop doing the thing with his fingers.

"Not really... I guess the only thing you can do is telling Arthur that it is a real magical disease, and we're trying to find out how to heal it," Gaius muttered, rolling his eyes at Merlin's audible gasp.   
"Do you really - do you actually expect me to- Gaius, if he gets wind of it being magical, and maybe even the name, he could do research-"   
"He's my prince, and I respect him, but do you really think Arthur would spent second thoughts on it?" Gaius stopped him directly from rambling, the 'the audacity with this' tone in his voice being so eminent that it was almost funny.

"I don't know! Anything could happen, really," Merlin hissed, seemingly ready to throw everything in this room against the wall or out of a window, maybe even himself.   
"On the other hand... I mean, I could literally tell him I'm a sorcerer and nothing would happen. He's dense. Dense enough to just take my word and let it be. You're right, Gaius. Thank you."

He took a deep, still shaking breath, before he nodded again and walked towards the door he'd barged through, it still being wide open.   
"See you later," the younger man muttered, closing the door behind him, collecting himself before walking towards where Arthur would wait for him.

..

"Still don't know how to knock, do you?" Arthur asked him, raising his eyebrow, smirking in a very teasing way that made Merlin snort lightly.   
"Not really, no," the sorcerer said, rolling his eyes as he closed the door again, "shall I do it now?"

He acted playfully clueless, and when Arthur stood up from his chair in one fluid motion, Merlin had to gulp.   
Gulp down a flower petal, almost.   
"Do I need to show you?"   
And there was it, their usual banter, the little smirk displayed on Arthur's lips, making Merlin feel all kind of things.

Maybe - even though he disliked the thought of it - he really just fell for Arthur. No being hexed, nothing like that. Just a classic case of Hanahaki.   
Yet, _damn_ , he needed to find a solution. His fate was to save Arthur, after all, he couldn't do that if Hanahaki claimed him.

"Anyways, if you don't start doing your job right now, I'll have you in the stocks for... maybe the next few days."  
It was a joke, yet Merlin's mind wandered dark places.   
_What if he found out?_  
He bit his lip, "I need to tell you something before I get to it."  
What if he even just knew one of those two secrets? Everything would be over, probably.

Arthur didn't say anything, so Merlin started, "The... flower incident that happened. It's a real disease, however it does involve magic. Gaius is trying to find an anecdote though. Nevertheless, I think you should very much know what is going on."  
Arthur laughed at him, laughed right at his face, and Merlin rolled his eyes, yet couldn't deny the way his chest tightened at the sight of Arthur's nice laugh.

"You have managed to get a spell put on you _again_? Merlin, it's like the fourth time this week," the young Pendragon laughed still, standing up to walk towards his manservant, who gulped down the weird feeling, crossing his arms over his chest.  
"It's not my fault that you manage to walk into a death trap with every little step you take."

Arthur raised his eyebrows, a smirk evident on his lips, a smirk that Merlin just wanted to _kiss off of his mou-_  
And then he shuddered slightly, hoping that his prince didnt notice it.  
"Am I walking into a death trap right now?"  
Something about the way Arthur said this knocked all the air out of the sorcerer's lungs, together with mentioned smirk, it seemed like...  
 _Arthur was flirting with him?_

"You might be," Merlin muttered, breathless by whatever was going on right now, a new petal coming up his throat, making him clear it.  
He could feel the thing right where it sat, and the way it forced itself higher up his god dammed throat.

"Alright. What you were trying to tell me is that you're going to walk around leaving trails of flowers behind you. Right?"   
Merlin chuckled dryly about the topic change after he had heard Arthur gulp heavily and nodded then, "you can say that."   
"Well, then how about we go outside for a hunt? Maybe then the others wouldn't quite notice how idiotic you are for getting another spell on your annoying little arse," Arthur sneered, grinning as he raised his eyebrows, clearly trying to get a reaction from Merlin, who still debated if he wanted to punch or kiss this idiot into silence.

"Maybe that wouldn't be all too bad," the sorcerer then said, coughing shortly as he looked away from Arthur, pretending that he couldn't see or sense any of him near, "but didn't you say you'd never take me hunting with you ever again?"

"Well, I can't just leave you here to your useless self, can I?" the prince asked, rolling his eyes before crossing his arms.  
"Come on, you're my manservant, fulfill your duties. It's set."

...

After coughing up a total of five flower petals that could've been put into the shape of a whole flower during just preparing Arthur for the hunt, making him spy over to him every once in a while he was choking on the flowers.

Yet, he somehow managed for all of this to work, patting Arthur on the shoulder as if he was saying "you're ready to go", just not saying it.

"Maybe you'll find something that helps. You must be very used to stuff like this by now."  
And damn, Merlin could just chuckle slightly, rolling his eyes on how Arthur seemingly couldn't stop mocking him for "getting hexed" once again. As if it wasn't his fault. As if he wasn't doing all of those things for him.  
But then again, he _couldn't_ know. He would probably never know.

Merlin personally wouldn't have thought that going outside, meeting the fresh air that seemingly flooded his lungs at an instant, would help him feel so much better.  
Maybe it was helping because he couldn't pick up Arthur's scent as well as he could do inside, or the fact that they had a bit more of distance between them, that there were more things going on than just him serving or having a usual banter with the prince.

He was avoiding any glares towards the blonde, thus avoiding making things even more difficult for himself.   
Yet, just when they were outside, entering the near forest, he heard how Arthur cleared his throat. And by the way he did it, he knew it was directed at Merlin.

"What is it?" the sorcerer asked, rolling his eyes at the prince, realizing that just the simple eye contact he just established made his chest tighten.   
Arthur's eyes were piercing right into his, the blue swallowing him in his entirety, feeling like he was neatly tugged into the blue calmness that was his glare.

He was... _worried. Arthur was worried. Arthur was..._

"Is that sickness linked to me?" he asked, his brows furrowed, still glaring at Merlin, not being able to stop the eye contact either.  
"What-"  
"You're avoiding me. As much as you can, at least."  
Merlin swore that he could've screamed in frustration if it wasn't for him to stay at least kind of formal with Arthur.

"So now when it's better for you to be dense like you normally are, you decide to be good at thinking?" Merlin teased nevertheless, basically agreeing that the sickness was linked to Arthur, making his eyes widen just the slightest if the sorcerer wasn't hallucinating.  
"It does remind me of a certain illness..."  
Merlin felt his heart up in his throat, his hands tightening into fists as Arthur came a little closer to his side.

"How do I exactly effect the symptoms?" he then even asked, and Merlin quickly caughed, sending the flower petal that had been waiting for its entrance right outside of his mouth.  
"I don't think that's of any concern to you."  
"Oh, but I think it is. You're my manservant. I demand to know what's going on with you."

Merlin looked at Arthur and just threw the petal right at his face, actually hitting him at his chin, making him flinch in surprise at the motion.  
"I guess you need to just trust me that I'll be fine," Merlin muttered, smirking at Arthur's still surprised face, "Gaius will find a cure. He's working on it already."  
The prince got his expression sorted and looked over at his servant then, Merlin shuddering at the intense glare.

"I don't know, I just can't stop thinking I could maybe help you with this."  
Merlin tried to cover up his hiss with a cunning expression, trying to ignore the raging thoughts of _he knows, he knows, he knows..._  
"Is this why you got me outside of Chamelot? So you can show your worry in a private manner? Aw, Arth-"  
"You better shut up, you idiot! Run back to Chamelot, you little shit, and you better run _fast_ or I might catch you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huh? What's that? Arthur has a clue? Maybe?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mother and I watched the rest of season 1 and the first episode of season 2.  
> I really feel like Arthur has a pretty bad self worth problem. And I do think I'm gonna act on that. ;)

He had tried a lot to find out what exactly was going on with his manservant.  
Chasing him back to Chamelot was fun. It really was fun, and of course he managed to be faster than Merlin and tackle him to the ground, making him pitifully cough up a flower petal in return.

Every single time that happened, every single time he saw Merlin cough up a flower petal, showing the symptoms of that familiar sickness... And showing symptoms getting worse whenever he came too close to Arthur.

But could it really be that... it was truly linked to him? Maybe Merlin was just avoiding him as to hide other things, the idiot always had something he tried hiding (terribly) after all.

But if it was linked to him, and if it was the illness he thought it was, then... that would mean two things.

One. Merlin loved him.   
And two... he didn't want to think about two.

He did want to think about one though, to his biggest surprise and repulsion.   
Yeah, repulsion. That was the weird feeling in his gut at the thoughts of Merlin having those kind of feelings for him. Thoughts of embracing Merlin, kissing him even - thoughts he should never have about a man, and especially not so intense that he couldn't even say that he ever felt it before.

Arthur rolled his eyes at himself and also rolled around in bed, seeing how dark it still was and how that meant that it was early in the morning, or late in the night.

He couldn't get his thoughts off Merlin and his questionable disease.  
The... the questionable way they sometimes look at each other. The questionable way Merlin always seemed to save the day with just his presence.

No. It wasn't possible. It wasn't possible that Merlin had magic. And it was definitely not possible that he'd fall in love with him.  
After all, maybe they were on the stage of being friends. Maybe Merlin would call Arthur his friend. But something in Arthur made it impossible for him to call Merlin a friend to his face...

Maybe the fact of how surreal it was. Merlin, his friend.  
The man that was basically forced to be his servant. He degraded him ever so often, and could only hope that Merlin knew that he didn't mean it seriously.

But he couldn't say it. He couldn't say it.  
He couldn't even call a friend a friend.  
Whatever he tried to look like, he felt weak. He couldn't even...

Merlin's sickness must be linked to someone else. Clearly.   
Yet, despite how clear Arthur thought it to be, he felt a weird sting in his heart when he thought about Merlin having this sickness for someone other than him.   
He felt... weird.   
Just overall weird. Was he... was he jealous? He couldn't be jealous, damn it. He was in no place to be jealous.

"Good morning, sire! Time to get up!" Merlin suddenly mused, scaring Arthur to no end as he was so deep in thoughts.  
He was glad about his blanket in that moment, covering his embarrassing flinch up, not showing his weak side to Merlin.  
"Fuck, Merlin, it's the middle of the night. What do you want?" he growled, turning around to shield himself from the light that was flooding in by the open door.

"It's morning, it's just almost winter. Now get up," Merlin said, still in his sing-song kind of voice, before coughing again.  
It reminded Arthur of the topic he had been thinking about, the big issue in the room.  
And then the sting came back.  
"Mmh- let me ask you a question," the prince then muttered, turning around from Merlin in an act of - whatever he was actually trying to do.

"Only if you get up afterwards."  
"Sure, sure. Sure. So."  
Arthur moved around like a fish on land, his mind suddenly clouded by non existent sleep and something else. Some weird stuff.  
Weird.  
"Who do you love, Merlin?"  
There was a moment of deafening silence. Damned deafening silence.   
At least before he heard the idiot chuckle and look up just to see him shake his head.   
"My mother. Now, get up."  
"That's not what I meant and you know that."  
"Get up."  
"No."  
"Arthur."  
" _Merlin_."

The prince shot up in his bed, glaring right at Merlin, and he saw how he was a little taken aback.  
Of course, Arthur had his bed hair, and it was even worse than usual, because he just couldn't stop moving around. Maybe Merlin was just a little weirded out by seeing him this chaotic.

But what he saw in those eyes was not confusion. It was something else... Something that would fit with Merlin's illness being linked to him.  
"It's not your business. I... Look, Arthur. This is stupid. Get up."  
"No, no I want to know. Give me all the controversies. Or are you a love virgin? Huh?"  
"That's really improper to ask, even for you," Merlin said, now suddenly stepping up to Arthur's bed, taking a grasp of his blanket and throwing it off of Arthur's body, making the blonde man shiver and groan again.

"Fuck you."  
"Try, you little baby."  
Arthur gasped at that, and the gasp wasn't even the one of surprise, it was a gasp of... yeah, what kind of gasp was it?  
"And you're saying that I'm being improper?"  
"Shut up. You always complain about me not getting my job done when it's you whose a lazy ass is preventing me from doing said thing."  
Now Arthur stood up quickly, picking up his pillow to throw it after his servant, but said man was already on the run, knowing exactly that this little fight would ensue.

But Arthur was fast, and he was trained, and he was stronger.  
It was definitely not a feeling of satisfaction when he managed to get a steady grip around his servant's waist, his other hand going up to like the throat area, making it impossible for Merlin to do anything without getting at least a little hurt.

He was writhing in Arthur's grasp, maybe because he was so close and he could feel it against his own body.  
And Arthur's hand twitched noticeably as he realized how they were standing, how close he was to Merlin, how it would look if anyone would come in and see this out of context.  
"So, now I've got all the power over you. You've got to answer my question now."  
"I'm not a love virgin. In fact, I do think I am in love with someone at the moment. Even if I'm not exactly glad about it."  
Arthur rolled his eyes and huffed, feeling Merlin gulp and then chuckle against his upper hand, no longer trying to get away from his grasp.

And his hand twitched again in a quick act of _jealousy,_ just for a short moment in which his hand on Merlin's waist tightened the grip, making the servant mutter a quiet "Arthur" in a tone he had never heard before.   
It could be that he was just unsure. Merlin never was unsure about Arthur after all.   
But it sounded like something else.

"The other question," he argued, trying to get his mind off of the weird thoughts.   
"You didn't specify."  
"You- you're just insufferable."  
"Would you kindly let me go so I can serve _my prince?"_

Arthur mentally flinched at the way his whole body screamed to not let go, to press him closer, to lean his head into the crook of that beautiful neck-  
And then it happened.  
Merlin bent forwards and coughed so heavily that Arthur just could think to himself that he was holding that cough in for the whole time they were in this position.

Arthur immediately took back the hand that was in the area of Merlin's throat and just wanted to retreat with the other one as well when he felt a smaller, leaner hand make its way upon his own.  
He couldn't help but feel a heavy pain in his chest at thinking that he couldn't help Merlin in any way - couldn't help him with the sickness, couldn't help him with this heavy coughing.

He put his other hand above Merlin's and whispered a little "It's okay" into his ear, feeling how he basically shattered to the heavy coughs.  
It was then that Arthur realized what he had to do, so he got both of his hands back, put them in the right space, and then sparked one big pressure on the specific point on Merlin's chest.

He bent over, and Arthur supported him, as he spat out...

A whole flower.

He vomited a whole flower, the damned thing landing on Arthur's outstretched hand.

"Fuck. It's a whole thing this time," the prince cursed, realizing that Merlin stabilized himself, the sign for him to act as if he hadn't helped him or anything, as if nothing had happened - like why would anyone think that he did?

"I hope Gaius is getting on with the cute. This is getting bad."  
Arthur stepped away from him completely, pouring himself a drink just to get away from the warmth that Merlin radiated, the warmth Merlin just _represented_.

He couldn't deny it.   
It hurt to know that Merlin must be feeling these things for someone else.   
"So, who _do_ you love?"   
"Arthur, that's really not-"   
"A girl?"   
"What else?" Merlin suddenly asked, the shiver audible in his God damned voice, and Arthur gulped at the whole situation.   
"I don't know, girls aren't the only thing in the world."  
 _I just want it to be me._  
Arthur gulped at that, yawning, pretending he didn't hear the small whine that Merlin must've let out.

"You're- what are you implying?"   
"Weren't you interested in Lancelot back when he was here? I'm sure I've seen some... interest in your eyes," Arthur mumbled way too bitterly to conceal his jealousy, and he wanted to slap a hand on his mouth and throw himself against a wall, yet remained standing and even looked back to Merlin.

He was _blushing._  
And Arthur felt his chest tighten oh so heavily, his fists clenching.   
So he was right...   
"No, no, it's not Lancelot. It's someone else, Arthur, but I can't tell you. It's too private, really."  
Merlin was avoiding him again, turning around to hide his flushed face as Arthur fiddled around with the flower on his hand.

"But it is a man?"   
"Why?"   
"Just answer me."   
Merlin still didn't look at him, instead started cleaning up some things, just before the coughs came back up again.   
"I guess."

The glance he got from his servant was something that hurt Arthur a little; the insecurity, the fear even.  
Did he really think Arthur would...  
God, he just didn't know a thing. Didn't know about how Arthur felt about him...

"Don't look at me like you think I'm going to kill you. It's not like I wouldn't have figured it out anyways."  
 _I mean, it is a love themed disease, isn't it?,_ was lying right on his tongue, ready to expose his knowledge, ready to accept what the statement would mean - for Merlin, what it'd mean for Merlin and for him.

Merlin who was currently coughing and still cleaning up his room, now looking away again - something that made Arthur go rigid at the moment.  
"Maybe the person loves you too?" the prince then muttered, watching him be way too productive compared to what he usually did.

It stopped though, and it did because Merlin froze. Completely.  
He turned his head a little, and Arthur saw that he was just honestly uneasy.  
"Damn it, I don't care. I'll be fine on my own today, just get to Gaius and help him find your cure," he growled, dismissing Merlin with a hand gesture, who tried to argue, but then let it be and left quickly, his coughs echoing through the halls.

Arthur was a mess.

And he still felt the dumb pain in his chest.


	4. Chapter 4

"He's going to figure it out!" Merlin hissed immediately when he walked back to where Gaius was, dramatically sitting down on the floor to lean against a wall and punch himself in the face.

The old man seemed confused and raised an eyebrow at the boy that was suddenly fidgeting in that corner he chose to sulk in.  
"I did some research," he then said, not being glad about how that would probably make things even worse for Merlin.

"Oh, and? It's a spell, right?"  
He couldn't outright say it. Not with the distraught yet hopeful glare that he was getting. Not with the knowledge that this would mess him up.  
He just shook his head instead, knowing that it's better to be over with it.

"N-No?" Merlin asked, his voice shivering in a way he himself didn't like, and if Gaius wasn't completely confused, he saw tears in the man's eyes.  
"No, it can't be! Here, take the whole flower and experiment on it, it can't be the natural Hanahaki," the sorcerer then said, picking up the flower he had in his pocket from when he coughed it up after leaving Arthur, standing up to get to Gaius.

And now, in an even better light, he could definitely see that there were actual tears.  
But he couldn't really react to it, not with the information he'd just processed.  
"You're already in the second stage of the sickness?" he asked, and Merlin flinched at that.

"You're right. Oh shit, you're right," he whispered, looking as if he was going insane by just the whole thing that was happening.  
"Gaius, Arthur is onto me-"  
"Maybe that's better. You know that Hanahaki has only three-"  
"Of course! But that's not my problem. Arthur knows something."  
Gaius sighed and shook his head, tapping on the desk only to take a roll of paper and give him a slap right over his head as he was babbling and babbling...

"Gaius!" he complained, dropping the damned flower he had been talking about so intensely.  
"Maybe Arthur loves you back, have you thought about that?" the older man asked then, patting Merlin on the shoulder as he went and thought about it for a second.

Then the sorcerer laughed, snorted even and shook his head, picking up the flower.  
"That's stupid, Gaius."  
He started coughing again and crawled himself into the desk with his hands, trying to somehow find steadiness during this torture.

"Fact is, you're truly infected with the normal, natural Hanahaki disease. And if you don't get your distance to Arthur, you're dead by tomorrow," his basically father explained, staring him right in the teary eyes, reddened from the pressure on his body.

Merlin groaned and tried wiping the exhaust and fear about this whole situation out of his eyes, his hands shaking.  
"Arthur basically gave me a day off. But I have to go tomorrow..."  
Merlin shook at the sudden realization he had, "I can't run from this, you need to find a cure, Gaius. Either that or I will die of this damned sickness."

The grey-haired eyed him, and he was clearly as unhappy about all of this happening as Merlin was, especially when he started coughing again, and actually got the flower out.  
It was still wholes.  
And Gaius stared at him in horror, and Merlin couldn't help but start to actually cry. For first time in a rather long period, he had to cry.

"I don't want to die, Gaius. Not if it is because of some dumb feelings," he sobbed then, his lungs feeling like they were ablaze, his whole body aching. He was in a lot of pain, and he hated the fact that it was happening like this.

"On the other hand, I could also just tell Arthur about my magic and get over with it a-"  
"Merlin!" Gaius interrupted him, clearly shocked about what he was implying, but Merlin couldn't think about it in his head. He only had thoughts of how he was going to die - after all, there was no space for other thoughts left.

"Arthur wouldn't betray his father, you've said it yourself at one point."  
"I said that in a time where I didn't see how important you are to him," Gaius then hissed at Merlin's try to defend his thought process, leaning towards him to gain the attention so his words could actually mean something to Merlin.

"Do you really think Arthur would do something that could hurt you?" he asked, and Merlin's heart hurt at that question, knowing that, _yes_ , he did think that no matter how much he wished to think otherwise.  
He averted his gaze, sniffing slightly as he wiped his tears away.  
"A soon as he finds out I'm a sorcerer, maybe he will."

Gaius stood up, outraged, and Merlin couldn't help but flinch a little at the sight considering the topic they were discussing.  
"I will not let you die because you're too blind to see what's obvious."  
"And what if I'm right? Then I can't follow my fate," the sorcerer spat back, now standing up himself, "you need to find a cure! Or, like, give me a book where I might find a spell against this."

"You underestimate the sickness, Merlin," Gaius just said, defeat and uneasiness evident in his voice as he sighed, "Hanahaki is linked to magic, and it's one of the most powerful diseases that have ever been documented. There's no way anything else than the known cure could work."

Merlin paced through the room, up and down, whatever he could do, and be might actually have moved one or the other object with his strong magic all while mindlessly walking around.

"I can't tell him!" he exclaimed and pointed a finger to the door, clearly gesturing at a metaphorical Arthur.  
But then he did a literal double take, looking back to the door only for realizing that - to his horror - the blonde man was actually standing there, a smug smile on his lips, leaning on the doorframe.

"What can you not tell me, Merlin?" he asked then, and the sorcerer could feel that Gaius might or might not also be feeling tense from the way his whole body clenched.  
"It wasn't about you," Merlin growled then, getting a little closer to Arthur, only to cough again, seeing this weird worry in his master's face as he did so.

"I just pointed in that direction in a metaphorical kind of way," he explained after Arthur raised an eyebrow, following Merlin's example in coming closer.  
"I came to ask if I could help in some kind of way," Arthur then said, ignoring Merlin's explanation, looking at Gaius.

"So my useless servant can be a little less useless again," he added, furrowing his brows at Gaius, waiting for a task, but nothing came.  
He only saw how Gaius' glare moved over to Merlin's, who quickly and almost panicky shook his head.

"Can anyone tell me what's going on? One of you two?"  
The prince was annoyed now, and Merlin was tense; he knew what Gaius views about this whole situation were, and how this could end very, very bad if he wasn't on edge and ready to cut through the revealing.

"Merlin has Ha-"  
"I'm fine!" he screeched almost, startling Arthur out of nowhere - he must've been really focused on the answer to the question -, "In fact, this disease is going to be fine soon! I could go back into your services right now."  
He stared right into the confusion, the uncertainty, the disbelief in those blue eyes, and he basically heard Gaius' frustration.  
"Is that so?" Arthur asked then, slowly, dragging out every word, hesitating everytime Merlin cleared his throat or had to cough.

What was often by then, actually.  
"Yes, sire."  
"I think we _could_ go for a hunt..." Arthur muttered, still suspicious of Merlin's actions, his gaze flicking back to Gaius for a second or two.  
He wanted to agree, and try to even be as enthusiastic as possible, when his argument was actually weakened by the way he almost doubled over, his chest hurting as he coughed out a new - another - flower.

Arthur glared at him, and then grabbed him by the shoulder, actually startling him as he was busy squishing the flower into pieces.  
"Gaius, would you mind if I took Merlin away from you for a few more minutes?" he asked the elder, and when Merlin saw some kind of knowing glare in his mentors eyes, he went rigid under Arthur's fingers (as if he wasn't already shivering, feeling heat rise up in his chest, the _good_ and the bad).

"Wait," Merlin chuckled and shook his head, "Do I get a say in- _Arthur_!"  
As rude as ever, the blonde man picked his servant up and just walked out, seemingly having gotten a nod or something from Gaius when Merlin wasn't looking. He couldn't help but cling onto Arthur's body, feeling his muscles flex under his fingers, and everything led to him leaving a few flowers on the way.

Then they were in a dark corner, and if it wasn't already cornering because it was a _corner_ , then he definitely felt cornered by Arthur.

They were so close again, and Merlin turned his head around a little to cough out another flower - dismissing the threat of this frequency.  
"Look, I normally don't want to force you to do stuff-"  
"Oh, you don't?" he couldn't help but ask, what happened in Arthur rolling his eyes and fiercely, yet absolutely gently, putting a hand on the other man's lips.

Merlin couldn't help but tense up unter this motion, the hand on his lips was just _too_ much, just _too_ Arthur, and he couldn't breathe.  
"It's the love disease, isn't it?" the blonde asked, then leaned a little forward, "Merlin. _Who do you love?_ I'll get anyone for you. Anyone."  
He moved his hand, but still kept it on his chin, even his clothed hand feeling so... welcoming.  
"It's not as easy as y- wait, wait, hold up- Arthur, you know the disease? That's not possible- how? Why?"

He couldn't help but go a little teary eyed at the sentence of _Arthur knows,_ hoping that he just couldn't see it in the little light that came into the corner.  
"That's not important. Merlin, as much as I hate to say this, your death would be truly inconvenient."  
"In other words, you don't want me to die?" he asked, trying to be cheeky, until then he felt a peticular hurtful flower, and felt how an even more peticular substance came with it.

Blood. He was vomiting blood together with the flowers now.  
The third stage. And all that just because he was here with Arthur, because he was touching him, because he was _so close..._

Arthur was uncharacteristically quiet after the cheeky remark, seemingly thinking of he wanted to be honest and open or bite back, but to Merlin's surprise, he refrained from the latter.  
"I guess so. So are you going to tell me?"  
"It will be fine, sire," he tried soothing him, despite feeling his lungs boil, tasting blood in his mouth.  
"You don't need to involve yourself."

"Shut the fuck up and let me help you!" Arthur growled then, his hand leaving Merlin's chin just to take two fistfuls of his clothes.  
"It might be the only time I ever tell you this, but I care for you. I trust you. I don't want to lose my... my dearest friend. So will you stop being so damn stubborn?"

He felt warm. Comfortable. Held, loved, cherished, and all just because Arthur allowed him to feel that. He allowed him to feel... to feel whole, as if they were actually meant to be. As if it was okay for him to be in love with the future king.

But it was his downfall, and he felt it come from his lungs as his breath hitched.  
"Arthur, I'm sorry- I'm sorry," he gasped out, trying to get a breath, curling his fingers in Arthur's clothes, a sob tearing through his whole body as he felt another flower, and more blood coming up.

"Merlin?" he asked, panicking, "Merlin, are you bleeding?"  
Arthur's voice had cracked, but the black haired barely had heard him, it barely had reached his senses.

It was over. His lungs, his throat, they were starting to bleed from the flowers. He couldn't breathe. His vision went black.  
"No, no, no you little shit, stay with me," he heard Arthur hiss, before his legs gave up, and his consciousness left him, the gasping for breath, the bleeding, the flowers stuck in his lungs - it all left him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, Gaius did warn him that things could happen to go wrong very fast if he gets close to Arthur...


	5. Chapter 5

Once again, Gaius was scared by someone bashing into his chambers out of nowhere.   
He was ready to tell the intruder - nicely - that he shouldn't do this -his complains died on his lips though when he saw Arthur carrying an unconscious Merlin in his arms.

"What happened?" he asked immediately, and Arthur's gaze flicked up as Gaius started organizing space for Merlin.  
The prince was panting, holding onto Merlin as if it was everything that held him alive, before stammering something, quiet and shocked.

"He just collapsed into my arms. This has never happened before, never. Is it the sickness, Gaius?"  
The elderly man locked eyes with Arthur, gave him a sympathetic expression, before he gestured for him to lie Merlin down.

"It's... uncharacteristic. The sickness can go rather fast, but not... not this fast," he explained, checking how Merlin's pulse was going, only to realize that it was too low, and too shallow - how did this manage to escalate? Even for the cases in which Hanahaki patients stay around the person in question, even then it didn't happen like this.

"So he lied," Arthur muttered, his face disorienting in discomfort, "about feeling better."  
He looked away from the black haired man, turned around to go and step towards the door.  
"I mean, I thought so, of course he would lie to me. But this..."  
"I doubt he himself had any idea what was happening," Gaius then said, propping Merlin's head in a position in which he wouldn't choke on upcoming flowers and blood.

"He's _bleeding_ ," Arthur muttered more to himself than to anyone else, leaning against the open door as if it was the only thing that could give him back the steadiness he seemingly lost.   
"I've never seen him _bleed_ like that."  
Gaius could see how unsettling that must be - it was true, despite so many occasions on which it could have happened, Merlin hasn't gotten wounded, like, for real - and now his mouth was full of blood, and Gaius could distantly see how there also was some blood on the clothes of the prince.

He had seen Merlin cut his finger on a glass he shattered, of course, but he was definitely sure that he hadn't ever seen this before. He'd seen him poisoned, but this... This was different.

"Me neither," Gaius then concluded, wiping away the biggest amount of it, searching for more things that could help Merlin get a little more comfortable in his state.   
"So, do you have a cure?" Arthur asked then, still standing at the door, as if he was contemplating something - maybe he was thinking of leaving, but it didn't exactly seem like that.

"There's no cure to this. Well, nothing _I_ could cure at least."  
The young man turned around, a determined look on his face as he shoved the door shut, coming back up to Gaius and to the unconscious Merlin whose bleeding slowly stopped a little.  
"Can _I_ do something, then?" came the question, and Gaius brushed some of Merlin's chaotic hair out of his face where it had landed.

The question was genuine, and when Gaius looked up, the glare was genuine as well.  
It was as if, with the moment Merlin couldn't actively see him anymore, he thought it was okay to share how much he cared... how much he felt.  
The man eyed the worried expression and the way the blue eyes pierced through his, asking for an answer on his question, asking for something.

He had seen this glare when Arthur had come in just a few moments before, and it was even more intense now.   
"Please, watch over him for a moment. I'm going to get some fresh water for him," Gaius then offered as a task, watching Arthur already nod when he only was half through telling him this.

"Sure, I'll do that."   
He pulled up a chair and let it stand right next to Merlin, and then sat down, a hand replaced Gaius' as he nodded to himself and went off.   
One glance over his shoulder, and even with this kind of distance he was able to see the worry and fondness in Arthur's eyes.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

He felt torn apart, seeing new blood coming up in Merlin's mouth as he reached for a little cloth, carefully wiping it away.  
He was so close to the sorcerer, his one hand was cupping Merlin's cheek, gently brushing the soft, black hair to the side, running fingers through it at some points. With his other hand, he cleaned his mouth up, helped him get rid of the flowers that came up, and he definitely noticed how _soft Merlin's lips felt_ underneath his fingers.

"Come on, Merlin," he whispered, now gently stroking his cheek with his thumb as he cupped it again, not exactly knowing what he was pleading for Merlin to do.  
He realized how his head was on the same level as his lap, Arthur raised an eyebrow, slowly sneaking his hands under Merlin's head.

It was going to hurt less if his head was somewhere softer, somewhere warm. He didn't even care if he got some blood on his clothes, after all it had happened already and... it was just okay. Irritating, worrying for sure, but okay.

When Merlin's head was lying on his lap, making sure he was okay was a lot easier too. He was closer and easier to reach, and now he could feel Merlin's breath rise and fall a little.

Arthur pet through his hair as the blood and flowers calmed down, a sob coming from the black haired from time to time.  
"It's okay, I'm here," the blond man mumbled, "I'm here."  
Maybe it wasn't him Merlin wanted to be there. He _most likely_ was not the person Merlin wanted to be there. But it was all he could do, and didn't even care when Gaius barged into the room with the promised fresh water.

It was silent between Arthur and the elderly man as they poured down the water into Merlin's mouth, making him swallow it.  
The prince felt his dearest shiver at this, writhe on his lap, and he stilled Merlin with a hand to his cheek, caressing it.

"It's Hanahaki, isn't it?" he then sighed, and when he heard Gaius gasp just slightly, tensing all the way up, it was the yes Arthur had feared and wanted all along.  
"What-"  
Arthur didn't know why he felt so shaken now that he saw how much Gaius must fear the possibility of him knowing; as if he was going to burst.

"The Hanahaki disease... Though his case goes way faster."  
Arthur blinked perplex at the tense silence between Gaius and him, so he started talking again.  
"What means..."  
Arthur took a deep, deep breath and tried his best to not tense up too much as he barged out into the open with the continuation if that sentence.  
"... Merlin is a sorcerer."

Saying it was so different from knowing but only thinking it. Those words on his mouth, Merlin - Merlin, a sorcerer! - seemingly starting to whimper right at that time, and the way Gaius' eyes widened, knowing that everything was lost now was... Something.

"And you've known."  
The head he was supporting on his lap right now, was one of a sorcerer. The lips he had touched way too often in those last minutes were the ones of a sorcerer. The soft hair beneath his fingers, the warmth...

Merlin was a sorcerer and Arthur didn't know how to feel. Was he supposed to feel betrayed? Angry? Should he be wanting to execute Merlin, and then Gaius for hiding him? He was probably supposed to do those things, but the only thing he felt was... worry. And, still, disappointment. If it was meant for Gaius and Merlin for never telling him or for himself.

"Sire, please-" Gaius started, but stopped when he saw Arthur's glare shoot up.  
"I should have known," the prince mumbled and rubbed his eyes quickly, before his hand went back to Merlin, "it explains a lot. I guess I knew, but never- I lied to myself. It's way too obvious. He's an idiot."

He couldn't help but stare at Merlin's face, this beautiful face, following his cheekbone with his thumb, sighing as he realized that Gaius seemingly still was unsure what to do.  
He looked up, glancing right to Gaius' face as he offered a very small, bittersweet smile.  
"I... don't know how to feel. But I would never hurt him. I can't even... I would never want to be the reason he gets killed."

Gaius let a breath out he must've been holding all that time, and the fact that someone even thought he could hurt Merlin like that twisted something in him. He had to look back down to the black haired man, gently taking care of the new blood.   
"All those times something weird happened that helped us in the last minute... it was always Merlin," he muttered and shook his head, and felt a deep, deep feeling of longing inside of his body, his limbs feeling so weak from the emotional force.

"And now the idiot is dying," Arthur laughed bitterly and let his hand hang a little, suppressing a sob.   
_Woah, woah, woah. No, that's too much. Stop this._  
"That's... true. I just... wonder, how do you know about Hanahaki?"

So they were avoiding the direct topic of magic, the way Arthur had just basically held a monologue about Merlin and... well, his feelings.   
"My father... obviously, my father forbid any literature on magic. Anything that had to do anything with sorcerers was gone, except for... Well. Your books, the ones you were allowed to keep for emergencies."

He heard Merlin cough and almost out of reflex gently stroked his cheek, and this activated something weird in him when he saw how Merlin actually calmed down.   
"I think you'll understand when I say that forbidden things are more interesting than they should be. So, at around fourteen or fifteen years old I sneaked into your chambers, and looked through the books."

He cleared his throat and felt his face heat up slightly as he heard Gaius chuckle, "I found the one on sorcerer diseases and took it to my chambers. Looking through it, I... when I saw Hanahaki, I found it to be tragically beautiful. To die like that. To be healed like that. I kept it for a few nights... just for the Hanahaki disease part. And then I brought it back."

Gaius was looking over to the book in question, and then just had to laugh, and Arthur laughed with him.  
"What a coincidence."  
"Indeed."

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, the only noises where those Merlin made.  
Arthur sighed, letting his eyes fall shut in exhaust from all the emotional feelings about this.  
"The quick pace of this sickness doesn't make sense, though."  
"It does, if you... Merlin _might_ be the most powerful sorcerer that ever walked and will walk on earth. So the intensity of his powers might... intensify the sickness, too."

Gaius was careful about all of this, and Arthur was actually kind of thankful for that. He needed the pauses he took to process what exactly those words meant.

"You mean, my _man_ _servant_ is the most powerful sorcerer ever?" Arthur asked, his voice quivering a little, especially when there was a small nod from Gaius.  
"I think he doesn't really realize it himself yet."  
Arthur laughed again and shook his head in disbelief. This was... a lot. All of this.

"Well, but do you know who he loves?" the prince then asked, tilting his head towards Merlin a little.  
"Not really. I'm sorry, sire."  
"No, it's okay. We'll find out."  
The elderly man stood up and left Arthur and Merlin's side, confusing the blond man as he went towards the door, during what he said "I'm getting fresh water again".

"It _is_ linked to you," Gaius said then as he stood at the door, not staying to see how Arthur reacted, just leaving and closing the door behind him.  
The prince hissed at the importance of that information, tensed at the possibility that Merlin...

Arthur's head wouldn't stop spinning, but whenever he looked down to Merlin, it felt like a wave of clarity.  
Merlin... how often had he insulted him for being so bad at keeping a secret? Damn, now he couldn't at least say that he kind of kept this secret a little well. Maybe. Just a little.

But that was not the topic in question, at least not for Arthur.  
He looked at the blood soaked lips, and felt this feeling of longing again.  
No matter how coated with the red fluid those lips were, Arthur couldn't... he wanted to kiss him.

He wanted to kiss Merlin. His manservant. _A guy_.  
And if it helped... if it could heal him it was alright was it? If he kissed someone to save them. Because he loved them...

Doubts after doubts and more doubts settled in Arthur's brain, or tried to, at least - he leaned down nevertheless, his breath shallow and unsure, and he made sure to try and wake Merlin. Just to know if this really was the only way.

Apparently it was.  
Arthur's nose bumped against Merlin's, just slightly, and he had to grin, laugh even.  
He was so close, so close he could feel the shallow breath on his own lips.

 _Am I doing the right thing?,_ Arthur pondered for another moment, before closing his eyes and trying to suppress his worries.  
If it wasn't right, then Merlin wouldn't remember either. So who cared if he just...

Connected their lips in a gentle, honest kiss, his heart beating up to his throat, the blood rushing inside of his body as he felt those slightly rough lips.  
Arthur loved it. He loved the way Merlin's lips felt against his, the way he could still taste _Merlin_ underneath the blood.  
He had never kissed a man, hell, he'd barely even kissed any women, but this... this felt like something entirely else. Almost like... destiny, maybe.

He kissed a little deeper, tilting his head a little, just to make sure, just to capture the moment, the way his heart fluttered and he felt the warmth of all the appreciation he had for his servant without actually really having known.   
And then he slowly broke the kiss and leaned back, his breath ragged as the knowledge of what had just happened dawned on him.   
What he had just done.

He didn't have a lot of time to understand anything, though.

Merlin bolted up, coughing and gasping for air, digging his nails into the first thing he could find.

When this happened to be clothing from another person, he turned his head.   
Only to see Arthur and almost fall back to unconsciousness due to shock right then and there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This went very quick, but I'm not here to drag things out ;) I hope this is okay! I'll most likely write one or two more chaps!


	6. Chapter 6

Merlin didn't know what was going on.

He could breathe. Could feel how the flowers left his lungs, or at least started to leave him through the obvious opening.  
He felt the urge to vomit in a way that it felt like it was intensified by ten, and then there was Arthur.  
There was Arthur, and he had pure worry in his eyes, and Merlin's hands cramping in the material of his shirt.

Suddenly something moved, and Merlin couldn't comprehend anything, couldn't do anything but sob and try to get over with the feeling in his throat, but just not being able to.

And Arthur... Arthur was there, Arthur had seen everything, and Merlin felt his head spin as he couldn't help but panic.  
He had seen everything. He had an idea of... of what happened, even. Maybe.   
He must have seen the cure-

Wait, the cure... How _is_ he alive? Did Gaius find a cure? Or did... Did Arthur-  
"Come on, it's okay," the prince said in the softest way possible, a softness Merlin had never thought to be hearing ever in his life.

There's was something like a bucket underneath him, so he could empty the things that were plaguing his hurting lungs.   
But it wouldn't come out, it just wouldn't happen, and Merlin felt how one of his own hands seemingly automatically went up to his throat to claw at it, scratch it open.

He didn't even cough, he just pathetically fought for breath.   
And that _right in front_ of his future king.   
It wasn't as if Merlin hadn't done embarrassing stuff in front of Arthur. This was just the first time that what was happening really wasn't in his hand, and it felt worse than the sorcerer had ever imagined.

But then he felt a warm, big hand close around his own, intertwining their fingers - and he knew, no one had come in, he would've known if Gaius was there, so it had to be Arthur doing it - just to then lower the hands from his throat onto his lap.

He wanted to ask what was going on, what Arthur was doing, what he was _thinking_ , but then he doubled over with a force he couldn't help but sob at.  
Merlin still couldn't really sense anything but the way his body cramped, the way his only source of any grounding was the hand holding his.

It was only when he was able to took a real, free and deep breath, that he felt a metaphorical slap, sending his body into a mix of tension and relaxation as he just breathed.

Air had never felt so good in his lungs, and warmth from another person holding his hand had never felt this good. He closed his eyes and still felt exhaust grab him slightly, trying to coax him into falling asleep.  
Then there were arms around him, and more warmth, more softness as he leaned back, sighing relieved.  
Arthur wasn't holding his hand anymore, but his hands were resting on Merlin's stomach as he had pulled him towards him, so he could lean against the broad shoulder.

"Arthur?" Merlin slurred, turning his head a little just to take a look at the prince that was holding him, his voice still evidently raspy.  
He was almost sitting on the blonde's lap, feeling the breath rise and fall against his back, and the glare he was getting was... welcoming in every way. Every way he had ever felt welcomed, warmed, and - if he even dared to think about it - loved.

"I... I'm sorry..." he whispered, still not really clear in the head, not really knowing what he was on about as his hands sneaked over to Arthur's, settling on top of them.  
"Merlin," Arthur scolded, and the sorcerer couldn't help but chuckle at that, "you almost died and think that there's a need to apologize?"  
The black haired leaned further against the warmth that felt like it could save him just by itself. And then he also knew that it was Arthur's warmth.

"How... was I cured?" Merlin asked then to avoid the topic and cringed slightly at the still lingering taste of blood in his mouth. His senses were only then coming back for real, and it felt a little like a sensory overload.  
He didn't expect Arthur to say anything, but the way he blushed ever so slightly and the glare they shared... it said everything, and Merlin's breath hitched in the most obvious way.

Arthur had kissed him. Arthur had kissed him. He couldn't help but repeat it again and again, all while a little smile found itself on the servant's lips.  
"You kissed me..."  
The way the air leaving Arthur's lungs at that sentence shot out his body as if it was shattering him had Merlin shiver with him.   
"Merlin-"  
"That means you-" Merlin started and then couldn't help but tense in the welcoming hold, "oh no it's not... it's not possible..."  
"Merlin."

Arthur was soft-spoken, yet made sure to break through the sorcerer's incoherent babbling of panic.   
And it helped Merlin a little as it slowly dawned upon him - if Arthur was truly outraged about this, then why would he have kissed him? Why would he be holding him? If he was truly mad, he would surely have set him up for his execution by now.

"You're... You're okay with this?"   
"With you being a sorcerer?"   
Merlin flinched, hearing it out of the prince's mouth made it so much more _real_.   
His flinch must have been so violent that Arthur felt it and hugged him tighter, maybe even out of reflex.

"I'm not going to lie, it's... weird. But I would never... I would never hurt you, or put you in a position that could end up hurting you."  
"Oh, Arthur," Merlin said, his voice full with admiration as he felt how Arthur shivered at this, as if the tone and how heavy it was with all that _love_ , touched him in a way that was tearing him apart in the most positive way.

"I was so- I didn't want to... I didn't want to lie to you, all this time I- I just... I wanted to protect you. I did and will always do everything for you. Just for-"  
"Merlin. Merlin it's okay. I'm grateful. I understand now."

Now the black haired really couldn't help but sob heavily - he had almost died, just to find out that Arthur knew about it all. Knew about his love, his magic - and he was okay with it. He might even love him back.  
Now he didn't care about being "weak". He felt content in those strong arms. He really did.

They were silent for a moment, Merlin only sometimes feeling how Arthur must draw a breath and open his mouth to say something, just to not do it in the end, when suddenly, Gaius came back in.

The sorcerer laughed joyfully, just glad to be alive after this. Just being happy seeing Gaius. And being happy that Arthur didn't jump back from him, didn't refrain from touching him even when someone else came into the picture.

Gaius' face lit up when he saw Merlin looking at him, and he put the water down as he rather came forward, taking him from Arthur's grasp to hug him, too.  
"I'm glad you're fine," he muttered, and Merlin nodded, even if it worried him how quiet Arthur was.

Maybe he was just trying to be respectful. But on the other hand... Arthur? Respectful?  
When Gaius leaned back, turning around to get the water, Merlin made the move to stretch a little and try to activate his tired body.

"Oh, water is good," he then said and chuckled slightly, his throat feeling sore since he had basically just vomited out a lungs worth of flowers and blood.

But having established this, he turned his head towards Arthur, seeing a small, yet noticeable blush on the prince's cheeks, making his beautiful face even more beautiful in a fascinating way that Merlin just couldn't help but stare at it, stare and stare until Gaius nudged him in the side with a little cup of water.

"Thank you," Merlin croaked, accepting the water as he still couldn't help but look over to the blond, shivering at the intense glare he was getting, the intense yet welcoming glare.  
He started drinking the water rather fast, chugging it down almost, and sighed happily as he removed the cup from his lips.

He blushed as he still felt Arthur's glance, and heard him remove himself from the place Merlin was sitting at, causing him to feel like he lost his origin of warmth all together.

Merlin felt so much better and leaned forward, only then seeing the stuff he had ended up pushing out of his body like that, and he couldn't help but feel disgusted.  
"Oh. I'm so sorry you had to see that, Arthur... geez..."  
"It's nothing," the prince muttered, taking the cup Gaius had put aside to further examine Merlin, walking towards the fresh water.

"You look okay. Your body is recovering fast. Not only did your strong magic intensify the sickness, it does also speed up the healing."  
Merlin tensed for one second at the mention of his magic, but then remembered that, yes, _Arthur knew_ , it was okay to talk about his magic openly like that.

Seemingly Arthur had truly gone to get another cup full of water to give it to Merlin, and the black haired hesitantly took it with a nod.  
" _I_ should be bowing to _you_ ," Arthur then murmured, tilting his head at the confused sorcerer in front of him, "the most powerful sorcerer that ever walked on this earth."

He took a sip of the water and sighed again, only realizing what Arthur was actually saying when he saw the expression on Gaius' face.   
"Wait, _what?_ Arthur, are you listening to yourself?"   
The prince held the shocked glare he was getting, only to then avert his eyes, turning away from Gaius and Merlin all together.

"Arthur, you are the once and future king. You are my destiny. I don't want that kind of credit... All I want is to serve you."  
The Pendragon didn't say anything, he just stared over his shoulder, gulped and walked towards the door.  
"When you feel better, meet me in my chambers."  
"Sure."

Then Arthur was gone, the exciting yet calming presence leaving with him, and Merlin was left with the questioning glare Gaius was giving him.

"Oh, well..." Merlin started, averting his own gaze now, "I guess Arthur kissed me."   
"You guess."   
"I guess."

The elderly man laughed, and then the sorcerer started laughing with him, all the not too uncomfortable tension between the prince and him falling off for the moment, the thoughts and questions coming down with it.

"Well, how _do_ you feel?" Gaius asked then, Merlin still shaking his head in slight laughter.   
"I think it's fine? I don't know, parts of my body still feel numb, but my senses are clear and I think I ould walk," the black haired answered, standing up as a kind of demonstration, and it actually ended up promising.

His legs were shaking a little, but he stood, and Gaius stood with him, offering him the water again.   
He gratefully took it and gulped it down again, grinning at the almost disgusted glare he was getting.   
"I'm thirsty, okay?"   
"You're being messy."  
"Come on, Gaius."

They were messing with each other again, rolling their eyes at each other, and then Merlin went in for another hug.   
"I'm glad you were here. Talked to him, and stuff. I didn't like the idea of dying like that. Honestly didn't," the younger man mumbled into said embrace that was quickly returned.

"It's okay, Merlin. But I think it would be better if you went and talked to Arthur right now."  
Merlin broke off the hug, and stared at the other man, biting his lip in a motion of insecurity. He nodded said feeling away, though.

"I mean... why not, right? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyy guys! I'm pretty sure that the next chapter will be the last one. Maybe I'll write Smut, that would be chapter 8 then, and one more than what is currently planned. It is my mother's birthday today, so I'm kinda... Not saying drunk... but not in the mindset to plan lol.


	7. Chapter 7

Merlin couldn't help but hesitate at the door to Arthur's chambers, his hands starting to shake when he rose them to knock, or open it, or literally just do anything but weirdly stand there.

He shouldn't knock, right? That was weird, and Arthur would know that he was nervous and then tease him about it.  
Not that he disliked Arthur's teasing - he was just scared to be too awkward for his prince to take him serious. This was a way too serious topic, and he was... He knew he was rightfully sensitive about this whole thing.

But he couldn't just barge in, too. That'd what he usually did, but like he already mentioned, this wasn't usual anymore. Arthur knew, and even if they had kissed, hugged, all of that in this short time, it didn't mean that he didn't feel betrayed. Or reluctant to have Merlin behave like his usual self.

So he stood there for a moment that felt like an eternity to Merlin, trying to find out what was the best way to do and pull off this whole disaster.  
He didn't want to die, and punishment wasn't what he searched for either. But could he really still worry about that? Arthur basically held his life in his hands.

So what _should_ he do?

He decided to knock, just slightly, his hand hurting from the motion even though it really wasn't strongly executed.  
He was still so weak from what had happened, so weak that even if he was to be executed, he couldn't even help himself with his magic. He couldn't even use what would be getting him executed.

But Arthur was not going to- he couldn't, right? Or maybe he was trying to deceive him.  
But it sounded so honest when he said-

His never ending train of thought broke off as Arthur opened the door, standing right at them, staring at Merlin with an unreadable expression.   
He didn't say anything, his mouth was just a thin line as he nodded into the direction of his chambers, opening the door more just for Merlin.

The sorcerer gulped heavily, then entered in insecurity, shivering as he walked by Arthur and his intense glare.   
He told himself to stay calm, to breathe normally, to not give away how nervous he was. It would just make him seem suspicious.

Arthur closed the door, and Merlin flinched.

So much about that point, then.

"Merlin."  
His voice was so steady... As if he knew what he was doing, and Merlin was truly afraid that he actually did know.

"I understand that you have to tell your father. But please, just... Get on with it?" Merlin then muttered, scratching as his arms, not daring to even look at Arthur.   
He heard him though, heard him walk towards his manservant, and then he felt the warm hand slowly touch his shoulder.

"What do you not understand about 'I would never put you in danger', Merlin?" he mocked almost, yet the tenderness in his voice took away all the possible edge it could have had.   
Merlin shivered, and he knew that Arthur felt it under his firm hand.

"Are you uncomfortable with me knowing?" the prince then asked, retreating his hand now, seemingly walking into another place in the room.   
Merlin still stood in the middle, feeling a little lost. Very much lost.   
"Not _uncomfortable_ ," the black haired muttered, hoping that Arthur was able to hear him, "more like... _scared_. Scared that things will change."

"Even if it changes for the better?" the blond then asked, suddenly appearing in front of Merlin, yet with still quite a lot of space inbetween them.  
"Sire..."  
"Merlin, this is not the moment for titles," Arthur then insisted, coming a little bit closer, and when he saw Merlin look okay with it, he stayed that little bit closer.

"What can change for the better?"  
"When I'm the king-"  
"Arthur, don't just say this because _I'm_ a... a sorcerer," Merlin interrupted, still stumbling over the word, averting his gaze, "if you want to make magic legal, then don't only do it for me."

Now Arthur came forward, a glare in his eyes that calmed Merlin's sudden shock down as the prince took his arms in a steady grip, and pulled a little on them in some kind of emphasis as he said those words.

"Then teach me. About magic - teach me about it. Tell me everything you know. Tell me what my father never wanted me to know," he urged, his voice so quiet yet serious, his glare almost begging Merlin to say yes, to give him the requested information.

The sorcerer couldn't help but smile, and he knew that his eyes must be an open book, showing all of his confusion, surprise and _hope_.  
And they stared into each other's eyes for a little longer, even though it seemed like an eternity and just a second at the same time.

"Are you sure that you want that?" Merlin asked then, only speaking quietly at that point, knowing that they were so close that Arthur could hear him no matter what.  
"Let me know _you_ , Merlin," Arthur answered to that, his hands traveling a little higher on his servant's arms, just for emphasis.

But he felt the black haired hesitate, and got worried. Honestly worried. For just a second maybe.  
"What is there about you that you're so reluctant to have me know?"   
"I'm just afraid that it's a dream. Or that you're ridiculing me," Merlin admitted, and it came so sudden and uncontrollable that he couldn't even control what he was saying.

Arthur shook his head immediately, still having Merlin's arms inbetween his hands, squeezing them shortly.  
"Believe me, this is all real and honest kindness. Don't get used to it, though," he said and smirked when Merlin had to chuckle.

Then there was a moment of silence, until the prince once again spoke up. "Can I see it?" he asked then, huffing when he felt Merlin tense up at the question.  
"W-What?" the sorcerer whispered then, unsure and careful.   
"Your magic."

It was then that Merlin tore himself off of Arthur, escaping his grasp as he tried and escape the situation.  
He knew that this wasn't a situation he could escape at this point. He was stuck within his prince's gaze.

"I can't... all this time I hid it- I can't just..." he said, fiddling around with his hands as he shook his head.  
"There, the candles are out right now. Can you light them up?" Arthur suggested, pointing to one of the many candles in his room.

Merlin blinked perplex, and then averted his gaze from Arthur, made sure to turn his head a little, almost as to conceal the way his eyes went golden as he whispered all too familiar words, felt the magic pulse through his veins, and then it was done and Arthur had seen it. Arthur had seen it.

Merlin could hear him gasp, and he flinched slightly, naturally.   
"I'm not going to do anything to you. I swear," he heard then, the voice of his prince purely awestruck, and the sorcerer couldn't help but actually smile at it.   
"You've never seen magic do anything but harm," Merlin then muttered, more to himself than to Arthur, but if he was listening, then he would hear it nevertheless.

Arthur remained silent no matter if he had heard or not, and Merlin didn't dare to look at him as he positioned his hand around his mouth, creating a little space inbetween.   
He once again used his magic, whispering the words, trying to not expose his eyes, feeling Arthur's eyes heavily settled on him.

Then he felt familiar movement in his hands, and he looked up, seeing Arthur with the most... fascinated - yes he was _actually_ fascinated - expression he had ever seen. And it only intensified when Merlin opened his hands and let the little, blue butterflies fly out into the room.   
"It's beautiful..."

He watched Arthur smile, even laugh in the actual cutest way he had ever seen him do, and it made him do it again. It actually made him want to use his magic again and again, just to make Arthur beam like that.

"Your... your eyes," he started then, and once again, came a little closer, "were they... did they just-"  
"They go golden when I use my magic, yes," Merlin interrupted, allowing his prince to come closer again.

"Merlin," he heard again then, and Arthur sounded... he sounded like someone punched the air out of his lungs, "can I kiss you?"  
Now this punched the air out of Merlin's lungs, yet he couldn't help but immediately nod.

It was then that Arthur came forward, almost as if he had been thoroughly feeling longing, and his hands found Merlin's body, his face, cradled him, pulled his body against his own.  
The sorcerer couldn't help but gasp as they shared the embrace, looking up feeling surprised and content, only to find the warm expression Arthur gave him. Loved him with.

For a moment, Arthur was just holding him, and he leaned into every touch. Then suddenly, there was a hand at his chin, lifting it up, and then they kissed.

Arthur was kissing him, and Merlin was returning every single little affection. It was sweet and innocent, and the sorcerer basked in it, the feeling of Arthur's lips against his, their warmth, the softness... Arthur had amazing lips, Merlin would say.

They broke the kiss, but didn't break the embrace in the slightest, instead they leaned their foreheads against the other's just to stay in that warmth.  
"Woah, I-" Merlin started, wrapping his arms closer around the prince.

"Was that okay?" Arthur muttered, running his hand through the black hair, hearing the sorcerer sigh happily. "More than okay."   
The blond laughed then, breathless and, Merlin would say, awestruck. Lovestruck.

His hands were still touching Merlin, now settled at his sides, making the sorcerer's heart flutter as he himself didn't exactly dare to move, his hands set on the broad back of his possibly now lover.  
"You can touch me, too, Merlin," he then heard, blushing slightly as he realized how easy it seemed for Arthur to look through him.

When the black haired was still hesitant, the prince buried his head in Merlin's shoulder, grasping him at the wrists to guide them around, to where Arthur's simple shirt was ending.  
Merlin's breath shuddered, and it was as if he was suddenly reactivated at the silent offer.

His hands touched the bare skin underneath the fabric, and Arthur gasped as the sorcerer felt his goosebumps.  
"M-Merlin?" the prince then asked, the asked person running his hands up his chest, seemingly not willing to miss any spot.  
"Hmm?"  
"I... I would like you to... to..." Arthur muttered, unsure if this was okay to ask, if Merlin would react well, "use your magic on me."

Merlin froze, unsurprisingly. No, honestly, the prince had expected that reaction.  
"I trust you, Merlin. I trust you with my life. I want to... feel it."  
The sorcerer took in a sharp gasp, and then did something Arthur didn't exactly expect.  
He took his shirt off, slowly and sensually with his hands, smoothing through Arthur's hair as he was doing it.

He held his lover's gaze, nervousness flashing in them as he brought one single hand into the middle of Arthur's chest- still staring at him.  
"Please, tell me that you're sure about this," Merlin muttered, coming a little closer to the prince, so close that almost nothing but his hand could ever fit inbetween them.

He nodded, and the black haired cleared his throat.  
It seemed like Merlin had regained his kind of confidence, as if he was getting used to Arthur seeing him practice magic - as if it dawned on him that the prince would never hurt him in any way.  
And then he whispered words Arthur still didn't understand, but felt fuzzy about, his voice catching on a lower tone as his eyes shone golden, the golden of a king.

The next thing Arthur felt was a soothing warmth at the point where Merlin's palm was settled against his racing heart. Something pulsed through him, and he couldn't help but let his eyes flutter shut with a sigh.  
The warmth was sparkling almost, firing him up from the inside, yet he felt the most comfortable he had felt in a long time.

"What exactly are you-" Arthur asked, but got cut off by his own surprise as he saw what was spreading through his veins, the golden color that was evident in Merlin's eyes marked him. Where he had almost invisible veins, he know had golden lines, it was even spreading to his wrists.

"It's not doing anything, really. It's just like light. Harmless light," he explained, and then the sorcerer's eyes wandered, his hand still set on Arthur's chest.  
He took in every little bit that he could see of Arthur, smiling in a way that he knew must look absolutely idiotic.

"I would almost die of Hanahaki again just to see this one more time," he mused, seeing Arthur smile in his usual, tender way.  
"You don't need to," he whispered back, leaning in to kiss his sorcerer, one of his glowing hands reaching up to his neck to press him closer.

He felt Merlin everywhere. His magic was just _him_ , and it was circling around Arthur's heart, settling just right with the blood in his veins. Merlin was everywhere within Arthur, his magic pulsing as they continued kissing.

Merlin was all Arthur felt in that moment, and Arthur was all Merlin felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now it comes to an end! Well, not me writing Merthur, that doesn't end... In fact, I've got a next fic in planning.
> 
> But oh my god. My mom and I finished the show yesterday. I literally just cried my eyes out like???? Oh my god. But the Knights of the Round Table, I love them. Wholeheartedly.
> 
> That was one of the best shows I've ever watched ngl. And the fandom is one of the best ones too. Like geez guys y'all so nice and this fandom is fucken immortal like????
> 
> Anyways I hope you enjoyed this whole thing wkdhwkdjwkd I just needed some happiness for them after yesterday


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